Strange as it may sound im sitting on my bed listening to the sound of the rain coming down, the dogs eating and my stomach growling yet these things are just that. I know I must sound weird but then no one stated I was a sane person. I have food beside me and I smell it but just get that nausaus feeling in my gut with out much notice that I haven’t eaten much at all today. But beside that it was a good quite day as Kayle was off with her best friend as usually the dogs were keeping me company until I went to the pool for a short while (its too damn hot to stay more than that) a short trip to Home depot and then home again after waiting to get by the one car accident on JTB. The rain out side that has just began to slow reminded me of the simple things in life that just start with silence. I don’t think I spoke to a soul today besides my dogs and it just makes me miss the grander things in life. I miss talking to people I miss hanging out with them I miss the simple yet joyful conversations. The dogs are the best listeners in the world but they don’t give me much in the way of the answers I have. Then as the day seeps by I usually find the answers on my own. Life is but an open door full of questions that only you have the answers for. Rain is something that gives life to the grass, trees and flowers without asking for anything in return. Dogs are happiest and content to lay next to you just waking enough everyonce in a while to make sure your there and happy with them beside you, though a few petting of the back helps to reinforce it. Kids are there to remind you no matter what happens in life you did one thing right. Friends will come Friends will leave but the few best friends you have are there no matter time nor space put between them. Family is blood and no matter how much you deny it they will always be there through the good and bad and rarely judge you on either. Ok my mind went blank so I’ll go now till another moment of inspiration hits me o my daughter comes home and i can reem her for the 40 something downloads last month that she charge on our cell phone account…makes me smile… ;0 goodnight all
Family is a funny word for me. I consider my family to be small to say the least. This week has proven so. My daughter has cried twice this week over the fact we have such a small family that she misses the ones no longer here and doesn’t know why we are like that. How does one explain to a nine year old that life works in strange ways. Even explaining the move towards family hasn’t helped much at all. It saddens me to no end. My sisters have been there for me lately I will say unexpectedly crying over an email or two to both sisters has not only helped me financially but emotionally. I know my rollar coaster is still on a low point but faith in my small family and friends have pushed me through my personal darkness in more than one way. I want to thank those around me that not only listen but hear what I am saying and push me to get out more.
Ok so my Saturday started out really well or so I would think. I enjoyed the morning lying in bed listening to a book as I usually do. I got my new mp3 player as my last one broke. I then headed off to Gabbies first birthday at 2pm. Needless to say I would not reach my home again until 3am.
Innocent enough I ended up for a girls night out that included a hooca lounge, Wild Bills Saloon off of talleyrand, then to a strip club. It was an interesting night so to speak. As a good girl my clothes stayed on I only had two shots and a couple of beers. But then I couldn’t find my drivers license and or check card. As my gas tank was on E (light on) and I was off Normandy Blvd. By the time I made my way back to Ortega I still had gas and found my Check card to get some gas. With Kayle back in my car and my thoughts of sleeping in my own bed I was content.
I can say nights like that remind me of my missing youth and honestly can’t wait for another one. hehehe
I am in auh of the fact that life is not just what one expects. I sit and ponder so many ideas and thoughts through out the day it amazes me. For instance my sister whom I haven’t talked to in a long time requested me as a friend on Face book. How random is that. I’ve told my boss and friend at work about moving in August and they completely understand maybe a little more than some of my truer friends I’ve mentioned it to. I’ve dropped one class from my scheduled this term and actually feel good about it and not bad. I still do not sleep unless I force myself too regardless if the tiredness takes me or not (this happens because of the ear buds in my ears in the morning or wrapped around my dog). I enjoy staying in bed as much as possible and loathe things that bother me while I’m in my mediated state of relaxation. Now i count down the hours until I can be in my nice warm bed pillow over my face to relax and block the day, the hour the week out of my mind. Just to think happy thoughts while petting my lovable Yorkie besides me. Time is something that occurs regardless of what you are doing and I suppose will keep doing that so enjoy the time with the ones you love especially this weekend. Random thoughts out on word to the world, enjoy. 
Isn't it cute ???
I find this whole blogging thing very interesting. It’s a place to go just to write out load what you long to say but usually don’t have anyone to say it to. My thoughts go from happy to sad to mad in a few short mintues. I always have things on my mind and no way to express them correctly. For instance today I was so mad I had to listen to the girls in the office, while my boss was out, go on and on about getting pregnant and getting married. They were joking for an on going hour or so. Did they think for once that some of us like to work in piece and quiet and maybe don’t have the kind of extra stresses like boyfriends and planning how soon to have kids or when others want to have more kids. I guess you can say it just really bothered me but then I was the one in the corner not able to say anything against the crowd. Luckly for me my boss is in tomorrow so it will not be as bad. Plus since I am moving in a few months it’s better if I don’t say anything at all just bid my time until summer comes and I can start my life a new either in Texas or Washington State. Thinking happy thoughts, thinking happy thoughts, thinking happy thoughts…It doesn’t work that well. Too early for bed too late to get out and exercise.. Oh well..
Ok so this is my first time around blogging. I figure since I have a mind that never shuts off. Most everyone knows I have an ever espanding mind and thought to things going on in my life, my daughters life and the world around me. So you must as my friends and family tell me how I’m doing and when I go off the deep end of the mind.
